Monday, October 8, 2007

you said it

today i made the mean butch librarian
say the word
this made me very happy

Sunday, October 7, 2007

one day i'll be i'll be

while driving away from a good time i saw an elderly man with a rolling walker walking down the sidewalk as i drove further i saw an elderly woman with a rolling walker walking down the sidewalk in the direction of the man with a rolling walker i made a call to good time and told her what i saw she text messaged me minutes later to tell me that the two walk assisted elderly walkers were now talking to one another and i invisioned a slow motion love scene of the two rolling walking through a field of flowers to stop and jump and catch their breaths every now and then until the the wheels of the rolling walkers touched at the same minute as their lips locked

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

you really walk for 48 hours

last night and into this morning
i dreamt and continued reminding myself in other dreams
of future earth
a two day theme park event
there's a huge room where the orientation goes on and then you
trek across all the continents and witness where they are headed
the first and most beautiful thing was the morning of the first sunrise
chemicals and what not had changed the sun into a bright purple ball
making daytime look like a night club
and water was solid black....look at the ocean, a lake, even a pool and it looked like a bottomless pit

Sunday, August 5, 2007

a is a fist

sometimes when i'm riding the train i like to act like i'm deaf...
but when i say act...i'm a little more serious then not talking...i've read the books..i've gotten some phrases down....i fake the deaf voice and say "sorry i'm deaf" really loud
i've also started buying those dollar "learn to sign" cards off the homeless liars who fake deafness half as good as i....
they'll try to sell it to you....and then if you refuse you can usually catch them "motherfuckering" you under their breath
and it's not that i'm antisocial....all the time...i'm just situationally antisocial....and if you ride the train daily you quickly realize that somehow you must disassociate yourself from 98percent of these folks
but today...i was called out
well actually signed out
you see a lady saw that i was reading the recent harry potter as she sat down beside me....
immediately she started talking about how the last one was much more superior and all kinds of shit i don't care about
*when acting deaf though you never look up right away
so i let her ramble for a few minutes...and when i'm flipping the page i look up and look at her lips and yell...."sorry i'm deaf" while motioning the cut throat point to my ears
then like the average moron she apologizes profusely and way too loudly.
but then this cute dirty blonde haired girl with a full sleeve tattoo looks at me and signs something really quick
the only words i get out of it are "you are"
and i sign "sorry, what?"
and she starts spelling out...a liar, but she's smiling and obviously not offended..maybe just curious?
and suddenly i'm very curious too
i sign "good job" and then begin the tedious spelling out of paragraphs about my temporary train deafness
she smiles alot...but does little laughing....which i've read is taught to the hearing impaired from a young age , not to make too much noise because it scares the hearing world...which i find fucked up
i mean some people have horrible voices..and laughs to match them anyways
and she teaches me a few good phrases for the next time i'm called "fuck you, mind your own business"
which i say to her repeatedly when she starts asking me about my job and stuff...and it's all in fun and she gets it
and then i get something before my stop
and that's the cute deaf girl's blackberry digits

Wednesday, August 1, 2007


there is a super power i wish for on the daily basis
the power of turning into any person...just long enough to be equal enough with them to punch them in their face

Saturday, July 28, 2007

good thing i know some things about asl

there is a custodian where i work..his name is donald...but i only know that because of his name tag.....he told me..but he seriously sounds like a man with marbles in his mouth
a constant drunk
but i'm not sure he drinks
he likes to talk and he kind of reminds me of what my dad might've been like if i ever knew him from a distance
donald was out for a week
turns out he was in icu for his blood pressure
deciphering mostly what i could read from his lips he can no longer eat mixed meats
mixed meats include but are not limited to....
hot dogs
pimento loaf

"now what the fuck am i supposed to eat? i might as well have died in the hospital"
direct quote from the lips of donald

Thursday, July 26, 2007

i heard everytime she farts she poops a little bit

my newest late night adventure has been 24 hour gym
there are many rad aspects to 24 hour gym
-they have cable
-i can grunt loudly because there is usually no one else around
-there's a constant spookiness of "is someone outside the door looking in?"
-it's a mere 3 minute skateboard trip
-i can wake up from wack dreams and head on over there
-i can shower and fantasize of late night romances that have yet to occur

last night my favorite gregg araki movie "nowhere" came on ..and i burned way too many late night calories watching it
because of the combination movie/workout some crazy all night dreams ensued.... involving dirty ladies underwear and halloween costume lines with t.s. elliott quotes