Ten miles on the treadmill, I lay on the mat and stretch out, arms fully extended, eyes tightly shut, breathing slowing down and a hand slips into my open palm....this is the love I dream of

Don't like dream blogs much these days but i can't resist last night's. I was in a parking lot and it was raining. I saw a drenched dog and started calling him...slowly he inched closer and closer and then an old man saw me and grabbed my hand. My finger nail scratched a bump on his fragile skin. He said"why are you here?"i responded that i needed to go to care-a-lot and safeway. He told me no one cares enough and there are no safeways.

pets i've had in my life

in the trailer park a puppy that lasted a week before some neighborhood hoodlum stole him (apparently that story is a lie...i just asked my mom what the dog's, who got stolen name was...and she said he didn't get stolen, he bit the neighbors kid who poked him so we gave her to sunshine (our native american neighbor) who was going to new york, to prevent him from being taken from animal control

then we had jose...a black mutt who jumped up and bit my mom in the face one day...she responded with a fist to his face and a call to animal control

sebastian was my first ever cat...we went to florida for xmas vacation and when we came home he had moved to a neighbors house

stick em' up...he was our only big dog...and golden retriever mutt mix...my friend seth gave him to us because his family was moving...but really i think it's because he peed everywhere and chewed everything! my mom's shitty boyfriend renamed him shithead (which he continued renaming every animal we ever had for the next 7 years!) and one day my mom and i took him to the beach to try and lose him...fucked up i know...but in the end he was waiting at the car for us and ready to go home...i don't remember how we got rid of him

stew and rusty....stew was a rabbit rusty was a guinea pig...apparently stew was starving rusty but we didn't notice until it was too late...i couldn't look at stew after that without missing rusty so we gave him to some kid down the street

fred and wilma....they were already named....two guinea pigs which i made a small fortune off of! guinea pig babies get you like 5 bucks a head at a pet shop! they made too much noise at night and after a year of the house not sleeping we gave up on them too

2 iguanas....i can't remember their names but one of them tried to jump out one time and i grabbed her by her tail...she left in my hand i almost threw up! she was missing for a few weeks before she finally came out and i had to force feed her applesauce for a month because she had mouth rot....after she got better i gave them away

houdini/bandit...a ferret we couldn't decide his name so he got two! he got out of any cage we ever got so eventually we just let him run free and the house always smelled like warm pee....he died and it was really hard for the family

zucko.....my favorite cat ever! big and black and lovable. he had a tumor and died after like five years

woody...she's our longest lasting pet...cat...she's been around since 94 and she only likes three people, my mom, my brother and myself...my brother found her by a dumpster at a 711 on his way to woodstock part 2 or 3?

shaggy....he's our lovable pound puppy westy, i'd get him tattooed!

I'd rather walk to the end of the block with you than travel the world alone

yesterday s.carter head butted my mother...full frontal lobe attack. it all started with a possibly reversed trip to and from north carolina and ended with my poor mother being violently benny hilled with s.carter's nogger...how bizarre

croon

My mom met her first husband at a dance club in brooklyn....she"knew" immediately. Steve Gavin...in their wedding picture he looks just like my brother only more crooner looking. Sally, who would eventally be my mom, and Steve owned 2 pet stores and 3 children. At some point in their relationship they also owned a monkey and lost dozens of domesticated pigeons on a rooftop in new york.

oh humans

3 people in the last 3 days have confided in me that they are lonely....and always have been...and only one of those times was me talking to myself